How long has it been? Four, almost five months now? It’s about time to let go, isn’t it? In fact, this whole thing has already been overdue ever since the moment your eyes went cold. I was holding onto nothing.

This will be the last time. I won’t write about you anymore. I’m moving on. There are more important things and people in my life now, and I need to be holding onto them instead of our ghosts. I’m going to a new place, with a new beginning, and this time, I won’t take anything with me. Not even a memory. So here it is, the last shed of sentiments we’ll ever have.

I hope your family will always be well.

I hope Emmett and Walter will live a long, happy, and prosperous life.

I hope Marcus will always be fluffy and cuddly, and  you will love him as much as I’ve always been.

I hope the garden will bloom as pretty as I always wanted it to be.

I hope the summer night sky will always be clear and full of stars.

I hope those fireflies we caught and released that year will eventually find their home.

I hope you’ll always be careful while driving even when I’m no longer there to tell you so every day.

I hope the scarf and beanie will be enough to keep you warm in the winter, if you haven’t got rid of them yet.

I hope you find a supplier for your banh bao and peanut butter cookie addiction.

I hope you will always stay true to the person you were when you sat there playing guitar with your eyes closed and a gentle smile on your face.

And… I hope you’re happy. I guess.

Everything is fading. I can’t even picture your face clearly or remember the sound of your voice anymore. Which is probably a good thing.

Our dreams that you threw away, one day I will make them come true, and it won’t be for you.

Farewell, my happy ending.


Image Source: Original

9 thoughts on “Finality

  1. Laura says:

    I just happened upon your blog while doing research for a teaching I am preparing for my church. I typed, “loneliness” into my search engine and landed on your blog and couldn’t help myself – I read the entire thing from start to finish.

    Let me say first off that you are a GIFTED writer. You expressed what you felt in your heart in a way that made me feel it too and this is an ability few possess. As I was reading, I was sad for you but not because your heart was broken – I knew that would heal as time passed. I was sad because all that beauty, all that ability, all of your gift of expression was wasted on a man who clearly never deserved it and I wanted you to KNOW it.

    Now here I am at the point of your “finality” and I see that you are indeed healing and I am so happy for you. I’m happy because now all that beauty can be focused elsewhere. You can get back to the business of living and making your dreams come true.

    God has blessed you with the ability to express yourself. Find out what that gift is for and you will never be dependent upon someone else for your happiness again.

    I hope you will keep blogging here – or post the address for a new blog location – because I’d love to hear where you go now that this journey is ending. That’s the thing about good writers – they tell a story that makes people want to hear the ending! God bless you, Helena. Thank you for sharing your story.

    • Thank you for your kind words, Laura. 🙂

      I appreciate all the support and encouragement that everyone has been giving me.I will definitely keep writing and sharing my story, because it’s one of the many things that keep me going.

      Cheers for a new beginning!

  2. ManKIND says:

    Wow, this is so beautifully written – I can feel your heartbreak. Time truly does heal the wounds and you will get through this.. it just takes a little bit.

  3. californiabeautyy says:

    i wish you the best of luck, i’ve been there and heart break is horrible. i’m happy to hear you’re determined to move on, though, stay strong. ❤

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s